Sharing Burdens
by thisfairytalegonebad
Summary: Snippets of Keith and James being roommates at the Garrison. [James/Keith] Can also be read as platonic.


**I'm starting uni on Tuesday and I was gonna unfuck my sleep schedule, but it's almost one in the morning and I couldn't stop writing so yeah that went really well.**

 **Day 7 of Jaith Week on Tumblr, prompt is "Garrison Days". There is emotional child abuse in this, if you want to skip it, skip [It was visiting day, and James was dreading his parents' visit.] to ["Thank you. I… needed to hear that. But I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'll get over it."]. Enjoy!**

* * *

James was in the middle of unpacking his suitcase when the door to his new dorm room opened and a familiar person stepped inside.

"Seriously?" he groaned when he realized who it was.

"Yeah well," Keith growled, "You're not what I expected to see either."

He stalked towards the free bed and threw his suitcase under it before turning on his heel and marching right back out of the door.

James was left staring after him. Just great. Out of all people, he'd just had to be stuck with Keith. As if it wasn't enough that he absolutely destroyed him and everyone else in the simulator, he even had to share his room with that show-off now.

* * *

Avoiding Keith was easy enough, even before they'd had a public fist fight, but even more so after that. James didn't really see him as the outgoing type, not to mention he didn't have any friends at all, so the most logical guess was that he spent all his time with Officer Shirogane who had for some reason started to mentor him or something.

James certainly didn't mind Keith's absence, as he spent the better part of the day in his dorm studying, when there wasn't class of course. He would have hated to have to look for a new place to study if Keith had been in the room the whole time because he definitely wouldn't have stayed.

Keith only got back a few minutes before curfew most of the time, and sometimes, he even snuck back out again when the night patrol had looked into the room and ticked them off as present.

When he did that, James itched to tell him off and remind him of the rules. He always felt nervous when Keith went out after curfew, as if it were himself who could be caught, which annoyed him more than anything considering he didn't even like the guy. But he also knew it wouldn't matter if he said anything, Keith was very unlikely to listen either way.

So when Keith disappeared in the middle of the night once again, James just sighed in defeat and turned on his other side facing the wall, trying to go back to sleep.

* * *

The unfair thing was that even though Keith spent most of his nights doing anything but sleep, he seemed to be in top shape every morning nevertheless.

James, on the other hand, was always tired, no matter how many hours of sleep he got. It was normal for teens to be tired a lot, according to the internet, and he was a cadet at a military school, so there was a lot of physical exercise that tired him out as well to the point where he barely even made it to the curfew at times. It made sense, he supposed.

What didn't make sense was how Keith seemed absolutely unaffected by those allegedly normal teenage things. It was like he wasn't even human.

There was one particularly bad morning; James had stayed up late to finish his homework - he took extra classes because his father was never satisfied, it was never enough, he could always do more - and he'd only gotten about three hours of sleep for the third day in a row.

They were assigned to the simulators that day, and for once, it wasn't Keith who messed it all up. Instead, James proceeded to crash not only his own fighter but also take two others with him and leave the rest defenceless.

"That was absolutely horrible!" the instructor barked. "You all are gonna do extra drills tomorrow. Thank Griffin for that. Dismissed!"

A collective groan went through the group as they got out of their seats to leave.

"Fuck you, Griffin," one of the other cadets muttered angrily, shoving him in the shoulder in passing.

James remained seated, the screen in front of him blurred as tears gathered in his eyes. He was sure he looked pathetic, sitting there slumped on his seat desperately trying not to cry, and the thought just made him want to cry more.

Quietly, he sniffled, and flinched when a hand landed on his shoulder hesitantly.

"Hey," a voice said, and for a moment he wasn't sure who had spoken because the voice was familiar, but he only ever heard it laced with anger or blatant disinterest. Now, it sounded almost gentle.

"Leave me alone," James muttered weakly, blinking back tears. His cheeks burned in shame. Of all people, it just had to be Keith who was there to witness this moment of weakness.

The hand fell from his shoulders and the sound of soft steps grew quieter as they moved towards the door, and for some reason, that was when he broke for good and started sobbing uncontrollably.

* * *

They never talked about the incident. Keith remained as absent as ever, James threw himself into his studies.

A part of him regretted pushing Keith away because it had been one of the times during which he really could have used a friendly touch and maybe a few kind words. But receiving them from Keith… he couldn't imagine it. They were nowhere near close enough for that, after all. Keith didn't have to bother with his issues, and he didn't have to bother with Keith's. It was easier that way, wasn't it?

Except, he was forced to throw that plan out of the window one night when Keith was actually in bed and asleep for once.

James had always been a light sleeper, so he wasn't really surprised when he woke up in the middle of the night. Taking a moment to figure out what had woken him up, his eyes landed on Keith's bed.

Keith was moving, sleeping fitfully, and he was… talking in his sleep?

James couldn't make out what he was saying, and he wasn't sure what to do. Wake him up? Just let him sleep and hope he calmed down on his own? Pretend he hadn't woken up in the first place and it wasn't his problem at all? That last option was stupid, there was nobody he needed to pretend for after all, and he couldn't exactly fool himself on that one.

He kind of wanted to let the situation resolve itself, but somehow, it seemed cruel to leave Keith alone to deal with his nightmare. His mind kept replaying how Keith had touched his shoulder in what could probably be called a comforting gesture when he'd broken down in the simulator.

"Damn," he hissed to himself before he threw back the covers and tiptoed over to Keith's bed.

Now that he was closer, he could make out some of the words Keith was muttering. "Shiro… don't leave… please…"

Shiro… that must have been Officer Shirogane; James had heard one of the other higher-ups call him that a few times.

James moved his hand and carefully made to touch Keith's arm, but the second his fingers made contact, Keith shot up in his bed and drove his fist straight into James' face.

Lying on the floor dazed, James groaned pitifully.

"Griffin?" Keith whispered. "Oh, shit!"

James sat up and gingerly touched his cheek where Keith had gotten him. It hurt, but the punch hadn't been quite as hard as the time Keith had hit him deliberately. If he was lucky, it wouldn't even bruise.

Keith moved off the bed and crouched in front of him. He looked pale and tired and his hair was sweaty from the nightmare. His hands were shaking ever so slightly as he hesitantly reached out to James before he seemed to think better of it and withdrew his hand, crossing his arms in front of his chest instead.

"This is the second time you punched me, what the fuck," James complained, but there wasn't much heat behind it. He was too tired to be angry, and to be honest, Keith looked like he didn't need more shit right now.

"Sorry," Keith said, sounding sincere. "I… didn't mean to hit you. You just startled me. What were you doing there?"

James shrugged. "You were having a nightmare. I wanted to wake you up, I guess, but that wasn't very smart."

"Oh. I- thank you. You didn't have to."

James finally picked himself off the floor. It was getting cold and he longed for the warmth of his blanket. "Yeah, well. You gonna be okay?"

Keith nodded, straightening as well. "Yeah, I just need to…" he motioned towards his phone on the nightstand.

"Okay," James said, stifling a yawn as he climbed back into bed. "Night."

"Night," Keith replied, getting back into his bed as well.

The screen of his phone lit up the room for a few seconds, and after a few more, there was a quiet ping that indicated a new message.

There was light for a few moments longer when Keith was probably texting back before the room went dark once again and Keith's breathing evened out soon after.

Only after Keith had gone to sleep, James was able to fall asleep as well.

* * *

It was visiting day, and James was dreading his parents' visit.

There really wasn't a point, it always went the same way. They were going to demand he'd show them his grades. They wouldn't be enough. He would be reprimanded. And then they were going to leave because they'd have the information they came for. It wasn't like he ever asked about him on a more personal level, after all.

He was used to it.

Except, today was worse. He didn't know what was going on with his father, but he seemed even less patient and more easily irritated than usual.

When asked about his grades, James handed them over in defeat, already knowing what his father was going to say.

"James, do you realize how much money we pay for you to go to this school? You weren't good enough for a scholarship, but we're still giving you the chance to be here. And this is how you show your gratitude? I'm starting to doubt you're worth the money we're paying to keep you enrolled here!"

It stung. It shouldn't have, James had heard the same words over and over again, but it still did. "I'm sorry, I did the best I could-" he tried, but his father wouldn't hear.

"Well then, obviously your best isn't good enough."

His father turned, walking out of the room without even saying goodbye. His mother followed suit, never even trying to defend him. She never had.

The door clicked shut softly and was banged open again only moments later by a positively seething Keith.

"Keith!" James gasped, cheeks turning red in shame as he realized Keith must have heard what his father said to him. "How much-"

"Enough," Keith hissed, stalking over to James and coming to a halt directly in front of him. "Does he always talk to you like that?"

James nodded, trying to laugh a little, play it off, but it came out weak and pathetic. "Most of the time, yeah. He's never happy, no matter what I do."

"Well, he's an asshole," Keith told him fervently, and then his eyes widened. "Wait- does he hit you? I swear to god if he's ever hit you-"

"No, no," James quickly interjected, before Keith could actually stomp off and murder his father or something, "He's never hit me. He just says things like… what you just heard. It's okay, really. I'm used to it."

Looking a tiny bit calmer but no less murderous, Keith scoffed. "That doesn't make it better, you know. That's still not okay."

"Yeah, I… I know," James whispered, defeated. He knew, of course, that it wasn't okay how his father treated him, saw how other parents acted with their children, but it was different to say it out loud. More real, and without the trace of doubt that always accompanied the thoughts he had about this not being alright. Having Keith of all people telling him it wasn't… for the first time, James felt like he was right and his father wasn't.

"Thank you. I… needed to hear that. But I don't want to talk about it anymore. I'll get over it."

Keith didn't look happy, or like he believed him, but he nodded sharply and didn't push.

"So," James started, desperate to change the subject. "Why aren't you with your parents?"

"Don't have any," Keith shrugged, but the way he pressed his mouth into a tight line betrayed the nonchalant way he tried to say it.

"Wait, what?" James asked in bewilderment. Surely, Keith had to have parents?

"Don't have any," Keith repeated. "My dad is dead, and I never had a mother."

As if it were being punched into his mind, James suddenly remembered the words he'd said to Keith before they'd had their fight back then. Oh, god. He really was a jerk.

"I… I'm so sorry," he told Keith sincerely. "I didn't know, I swear. I wouldn't have said what I did back then if I'd known."

"It's fine," Keith said, with an apathy so forced James nearly shuddered. "You couldn't have known."

James wanted to say something else, to let Keith know he really was sorry, but he had a feeling silence would be more appreciated at the moment. "Okay. I'm… really tired, kind of, so I'm gonna nap for a bit, but you don't have to leave."

"No, don't worry about it," Keith said, already walking towards the door. "I was gonna meet with Shiro anyway."

The door was shut softly, and for a frightening moment, James wished Keith would have stayed.

* * *

Pilot error.

All the progress he and Keith had made was lost after those two words. They didn't even go back to their previous antagonistic relationship. Instead, Keith ignored him completely, during the few moments they were both in the room. Keith only was there to get himself ticked off as present at curfew before he walked out again and stayed out all night.

He no longer looked in top shape after nights of no sleep. Now, there were dark circles beneath his eyes, he was pale, and his hair was a mess. His performances in the simulator were abysmal, and even the instructors gave up on yelling at him about it. Instead, they benched him, their top student, no longer good enough to complete the most simple simulations.

It was hard not to feel pity, knowing how much Officer Shirogane had meant to Keith, but James knew Keith wouldn't want pity, so he focused on the anger instead.

Anger at the Garrison, mostly, for the way they dropped Keith as soon as he no longer performed the way they wanted him to. Nobody even tried to help him, they just benched him and wrote him off. It really wasn't fair, he thought, how people only ever seemed to be worth something when they lived up to the expectations that were placed on them.

James wondered how long it would be before Keith lost his scholarship, but before it could even come to that, Keith punched Iverson in the face, got himself expelled, and disappeared without a trace.

He was soon going to be assigned a new roommate at some point, James supposed, but for now, all he could do was stare at Keith's empty bed, wondering if he was going to be alright.

* * *

 **They're not exactly friends yet, but they're on friendlier terms, and I imagine Keith to be the kind of person who would get absolutely furious at people abusing their kids, that's why he goes off after James' dad's visit like that.**

 **Here's the link to the Tumblr post for this event for anyone who's interested: post/177174562099/james-and-keith-week-is-anyone-really-surprised**


End file.
